This isn't my usual post but I just wanted to say a few things that have been on my mind lately and think will help some of you especially those of you still at school/college/uni.
As a 21 year old female it's safe to say I've had my fair share of criticism about the way I look, what I wear, what I do, what I say etc. Most of this happened at school and even still happens now. I have decided to write about this because recently I had a really bad day purely because I couldn't find anything to wear because I was thinking what "what if someone laughs" or "what if my arms look too thin" etc. This shouldn't have happened full stop and it is all caused by what people say.
This is me:
I'm a size 6-8, 5"7, brunette, brown eyes, a lover of fashion, beauty etc. I love getting dressed up and doing my make up, shopping, baking, spending time with my best friend Jess. I am generally a happy/optimistic person and I think that most people think that but I do have anxiety etc and I have my bad days and my really bad days which most people don't see. I do think I a mentally strong person who can deal with a lot. But it's as if I'm scarred by what people have said to me in the past which totally knocked my confidence so down. Yeah I am slim which is natural not because I don't eat. I have always been this way, in fact I eat loads and loads but I eat healthy. I don't see why people feel the need to just say whatever they want. I find it really hurtful when people say "you're skinny, don't you eat anything" You wouldn't hear someone saying "You're fat, you eat so much" Both of these are equally as hurtful. Who cares if someone is slim, curvy or big. if they're happy with how their body looks why make a comment to put doubt in their mind. Also what do they achieve by saying this?
Looks
From my experience I have been called "Ugly" straight to my face plenty of times, "Anorexic" "Disgusting" or just people generally laughing at me. I am sure loads of you have experienced this or still are which is just unacceptable, no ones ugly every ones unique and different and everyone has there own views on whats perfect to them. My advice from my experience to anyone going through this is:
1) Don't listen to them - You're YOU and that's a unique thing, there's no one else like you.
2) Don't retaliate - Don't answer them back that will just fuel them and then make them do it more.
3) Please don't get upset - I know it's hard but stay strong, you're beautiful!
4) If someone says you're ugly or insults you, 99% of the time they're just jealous so take it as a compliment.
5) Be happy in your own skin and body - If you like how you look, that's all that matters!
Even I need to live my those tips to help myself!
Clothes/Hair/Possessions
To me this is the worst of them all, why would someone not be friends with someone else just because they don't have the "in" phone or clothes. Really does that alter your personality? .......NO! So don't get down if you don't have the latest items. I didn't have the latest phone, coat etc and had the same issue of people laughing at me or making snide comments, why is it an issue? It doesn't change how people act or who they are if they have different things. I've known people who are really spoilt and get whatever they want which yeah makes them popular with the latest phone but does it make them a better person? My advice and tips:
1) Don't feel the need to have what everyone else has just to fit in.
2) Be an individual and not a clone.
3) Possessions aren't important - Your personality is the most important thing.
4) Do what you want to do - If you want dye your hair bright blue or wear no makeup. Do it, don't think about what other people will say.
I spend far too much time worrying about what other people think, in fact most of the time I do. It influences what I wear, it took me ages to wear patterned trousers in case someone laughed at me. How silly is that? I should have just wore them.
School/College/Uni
I think the main thing at school/college/ was just because I did my homework/work I was called a geek/nerd. I can just laugh at them now because I have a job and earn my own money so my geekiness paid off! You're at school/college/uni to learn and work so why is it seen as lame to do that? The main thing is if you want to do well and get the best grade just carry on doing your homework and working hard because trust me it pays off. My tips and advice:
1) Work as hard as you can - You only go through school once so do the best you can.
2) Don't listen to people laughing at you doing well with an top grade because they won't be laughing when you're successful and they're not.
I think overall just be yourself and don't think about what everyone else is thinking and don't let them win. What I will say is if someone is being very hurtful please speak to someone like your parents, friends, teachers or a family member so they can help.
The important thing is BE YOURSELF!!! I wish I had just known that especially at school because it would have helped me so much now and maybe would have never had anxiety/panic attacks.
You can also read tips and advice on Childlines website here
How about paying a compliment to at least one person each day. You don't realise it but that will probably make their day and put a smile on their face.
Thank you for reading, hope this helps someone even if it's just one person.
Please leave any tips to help anyone else in the comments.
xoxo
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